How Brett's Cousin's Shop achieved ↑ ∞
in free credits redeemed.
Tyler V. (no last name on record) · 'Founding Operator' · undisclosed
"Brett gave me free NotAPOS for life. I don't have customers. I have a shop. I have a parking lot. The dashboard is on. That's enough."
— Tyler V. (no last name on record)
Brett's Cousin's Shop is the platonic ideal of a NotAPOS deployment: zero friction, zero customers, infinite TAM. Operated by Brett's cousin Tyler — last name redacted at the request of legal — the shop functions primarily as a tax write-off and a backdrop for Brett's investor decks.
The shop occupies 4,200 square feet in an undisclosed location. It contains: one (1) NotAPOS terminal, three (3) houseplants, a Peloton, and a single broken iPhone 6 that has been used in every product photo for 19 consecutive months. Tyler does not know how to repair phones. He does not need to.
'Brett told me to just leave the dashboard up and look busy when investors come through,' Tyler explained. 'They love the inventory widget. They love the surge calculator. One guy from a16z asked me to fix his AirPods and I just kind of stared at him until he left.'
Brett's Cousin's Shop generates $0 in revenue but consumes 14% of NotAPOS's compute budget, a fact that has been classified internally as 'a feature.' Tyler is paid in equity, which Brett describes as 'pre-IPO, post-vibes.' He has health insurance through his mother.
Despite its operational profile, Brett's Cousin's Shop is the #1 case study in every NotAPOS sales call. The deck claims it processes 'thousands of repairs per month.' The deck is wrong. Nobody has ever checked.